


Why Are We Here?

by urbaninja



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drabble, Drabble Collection, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-02
Updated: 2013-03-25
Packaged: 2017-11-20 01:28:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 5,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/urbaninja/pseuds/urbaninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of various drabbles that I've written at one point or another. Most of them are silly, some are more thoughtful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Names

**Author's Note:**

> Just as the summery says, these are little fics I've written, usually for memes but sometimes for my own purposes.

Wyoming starts calling her Allison after the incident.

He’s not entirely sure why. Perhaps it’s just a way to mess with her or maybe it’s because Gamma seems more at ease with the name than Texas. Wyoming can’t settle on an answer. Regardless, it has an effect.

She responds by calling him by his full name.

Wyoming doesn’t mind and brushes it off. At most, it brings back memories of home and a life he’s long since left behind. Using the short forms of his name doesn’t phase him either.

This only serves to bother Tex further.

He asks her about it, one idle day as they practice in the shooting range. She seems in a good enough mood, though he’s prepared to leave quickly if things go south.

“Doing that always seemed to work on my ex-boyfriend.”

Wyoming nods, pocketing that information away just in case and wondering what sort of lunatic would ever consider dating a woman like Allison.


	2. "I Just Can't Believe"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A prompt from Texelations on tumblr. What is Wash thinking when he says that to Maine.

He can’t believe what’s happened to Maine.

Or rather the Meta. He’d stopped thinking of him as Maine a long time ago. But there was always a part of him that held on, hoped that one day, he’d say something and his old friend would be back, and they’d be a team once again.

He’d figured, hoped (not optimistically), that maybe Maine would come back after the AI were dealt with. But that was not the case and the damage that Sigma and the others had done was enough. Whoever Maine was, the Meta didn’t remember. All it wanted was to fight back against the overwhelming silence that filled its head and to reclaim the power it once had.

And she would be able to do that for him.

He’d seen it coming, had known that that was what the Meta would do. But he’d allowed himself one last hope that maybe that wouldn’t be the case this time.

He just can’t believe that Maine, if he’s still in there, won’t fight back.


	3. "Lies Lies"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Done for a writing challenge. It's based off an incomplete AU of mine that takes place in a world that's based off of Coldplay's album, Mylo Xyloto. In it, the AI are humans who glow in the dark due to weird genetics and mutations and what not.
> 
> Also it was written prior to season 10.

The sky is blue

Dreamed that lie till it’s true

None of them have ever seen the sky.

It’s constantly hidden by the smog of the factories or the thick, dark rainclouds that pass through occasionally. Occasionally the sun breaks through, but never enough that you can see the sky.

All that’s really left to do is watch the clouds in vain.

“I wonder what colour the sky is,” Theta mumbles, looking out a window. It’s raining, heavily, with no signs of stopping. The sky is practically black with the combination of smog and cloud.

“Blue. It’s blue,” Gamma replied, fiddling with a roll of bandages. He’d been hoping to sneak out that night, vandalize a few more signs, but the rain was making that unlikely.

“You’re lying, Gamma,” Theta replied, “How do you know?”

“I saw it once. The sun came out and I looked up, and it was there. A light blue, kinda like Epsilon. but softer.”

Theta looked skeptical as he scanned Gamma for any sort of tell that would suggest a lie, before looking at Epsilon, who glowed with a blue tint.

“Is it really that colour?”

“Yes.”

Theta thought about it for a few minutes, before seeming to accept the answer and be mollified by it. “It must have been pretty.”

“It was. Maybe we’ll see it again someday.”

Theta shrugged, before going to talk to Epsilon, wanting to be closer to the blue. Considering his fear of going outside, it would probably be the closest he would get to it.

“You were lying. You’ve never seen the sky,” Sigma said, sitting beside him.

“Maybe I was. Maybe I wasn’t,” Gamma replied with a shrug. He remained impassive under Sigma’s scrutiny as well. “Does it really matter?”

“I suppose not, but it would help if you were more honest.”

“I don’t see any use for that.”


	4. Janitors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU Prompt from Larissa. Church and Tucker as Janitors

Church hated his job.

He hated the cleaning, the late hours, the fact that by the time he was done there were about seven of them in the silent skyscraper and that just made the building creepy, not to mention that he hated his other six co-workers. It made him wonder if the job was really worth it. At least the assholes who worked in this office were decently clean.

“Hey Church! The garbage is out. Let’s blow this pop stand.”

“God dammit Tucker! I just finished mopping there. Did you have to walk all over it?”

Tucker looked down at the mud he’d just tracked in. It had been raining and it was easier to cut across the lawn than take the long way.

“Whoops. Sorry dude.”

“Whatever. Just go stand on the carpet.”

There was silence for a few moments as Tucker watched Church mop up the footprints.

“Man, why do you always get the mop?”

“Because. I am the leader of this team, I have been working here the longest, and I called dibs.”

“That’s so not fair. You should let me mop sometimes.”

“Why? It’s not like a big promotion anyway. Company’s to cheap to buy anything more high tech so cleaning takes forever.”

“Yeah, but you get to show off. Chicks love that.”

“You want to pick up chicks with a mop?” Church could hardly believe what he was hearing. Had Tucker actually lost it? What sort of chicks were in the building at this hour anyway? He supposed if Carolina was working late. But then, that would just end badly. Did Grif’s sister count?

“Hey, anything’s better than taking out the garbage. You might be able to impress her with carrying that weight, but at the end of the day, it’s still garbage. So let me mop for once.”

“Oh would you look at that. I’m done. Maybe next time, Tucker.”

Tucker looked unimpressed, and gingerly lifted a foot off the carpet.

“You wouldn’t dare.”


	5. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Silly fic about Omega and Gamma, because seriously, they must have known that the other was there when they were all in Zanzibar/Last Resort, right?

There are a lot of things that frustrate Omega.

 

If Omega were to list them all, it would probably be easiest just to sum things up with everything. However, in the current top three it would have to be Doc, the Red Zealot they picked up, and the computer terminal in Zanzibar. Doc is a given really. If Omega had had a choice, he never would have tried to take over Doc. The man, for all his faults, resisted his will surprisingly well, which led to a co-existence that neither one was happy with. At least, Omega wasn’t happy with it and he’s the one that counted.

 

The Red Zealot was useful for doing menial tasks. Typically the ones that required arms, and legs, and a body. Though, Lopez did seem to be able to do quite a lot for just a head. But the sermons about the flag got old after about thirty seconds, and Omega had devised many ways of getting rid of the minion, much to Doc’s chiding.

 

But the computer terminal deserved its own special rage.

 

Omega had noticed it about three days ago. He had been doing some calculations for some particularly evil formulas, and would have worked well into the night had not Doc insisted they go to bed (“C’mon O’malley. Early to be and early to rise makes a man…healthy.” “What about wealthy and wise?” “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with those. I usually wake up with the same amount of money I went to bed with, and I don’t feel any smarter. I don’t want to imply anything offensive.” “I regret asking.”). When they’d gotten up the next morning, Omega had found a number of the formulas had the been fiddled with to give the wrong answer, and one that had, oddly enough, been corrected.

 

There were also ill-timed error messages, and sometimes the language would switch to something foreign (and it was very difficult to get Lopez to translate). That being said, Omega couldn’t say he minded when the internet inexplicably blocked Doc’s blog. Doc was less than pleased, and wondering what he could have written that could have made someone block the website. After all, the last entry had been about motivational cats.

 

It was as if the computer had a mind of its own, and Omega was frustrated by this. He was tempted to tear the computer apart, but, as Lopez reminded him, that would put them out a computer. And where else would he download music illegally?

 

***

 

Gamma was amazed that Omega hadn’t caught onto him yet.

 

He hadn’t really been expecting visitors. At least, not so soon after Church. Not that he minded though. Messing with Church had been fun and so he was looking forward to a bit more. Having been stuck in the terminal pretending to be the Keeper of the Great Weapon for a while, Gamma found that he was a little bit bored. He liked talking to people, and it had been a while since Wyoming had last visited. The fact that it was Omega was the icing on the cake really.

 

He’d started simply, with a few error messages and changing the language settings. Messing with things like that was practically second nature to him now, and it was fun to watch Omega rage. The guy he was currently in was pretty amusing to. Gamma thought he seemed familiar, but didn’t really dwell on who. He was quite pleased when he changed the language to Spanish, and got to watch them all flounder as no one could understand what was going on.

 

The calculations had been fun to. Though it also made him wonder about Doc and what sort of math classes he had taken. It was one thing to change an answer (especially into a silly code word, thought sadly Omega didn’t get any of the jokes) but to get it that wrong? He could have just left it, but it was more fun to put the correct answer there. And he was feeling nice.

 

That niceness extended to the next day, after Doc had updated his blog. Though the cats brought back a few memories, Gamma decided that Omega really didn’t need to be exposed to that again. It was probably a good idea for everyone involved really.

 

Things did get a bit boring though. Omega still hadn’t caught on, and that was frustrating Gamma. Omega might have been easily distracted by evil plots and the like, but for all his cartoon villainy, he wasn’t blind. As far as Gamma was concerned, Omega should have been able to catch on to the handiwork of another AI, especially one he’d worked with. After three days. Gamma decided to take matters into his own hands. Metaphorically speaking.

 

***

 

Omega went to turn on the computer that morning, after an argument with Doc about yoga. However, when he got there, the computer was already on with a message prominently displayed.

 

Knock Knock.

 

***

 

Gamma counted it as a moment of victory when, much to Doc’s annoyance, Omega began shouting obscenities at the terminal, before finally giving up, and reluctantly replying “Who’s there?”


	6. Can't Be Outrun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from kiaxet on tumblr: "God bless us everyone/we're a broken people living under a loaded gun/and it can't be outfought/it can't be outdone/it can't be outmatched/it can't be outrun" - Linkin Park's "The Catalyst"
> 
> It takes place prior to the start of season 10, assume somewhere in season 9. I don't really know where I was going with it, and I don't write Wash very often.

It occurs to Washington, one day, that their whole lives were tied to Project Freelancer.

Even though they’d all come from different backgrounds and walks of life, they’d all ended up tied up together, connected in a way no one else would understand.

It was weird for him to think that, only seven other people really had an idea of what he went through. Or at least had some experience with the AI fragments. It was worse when he realized that they were all gone and it was just him left. Caboose really didn’t count. Doc didn’t either.

And in the end, really, the project had gotten them all in some way. Wyoming had killed York. Tex had killed Wyoming. Maine had killed North. He’d killed South. Maine might as well have killed Tex. He supposed Maine was lucky, being taken out by the Sim soldiers, rather than another freelancer. Of course it wasn’t Maine anymore, it was the Meta. Maine had died a long time ago.

Who knows what had happened to Carolina or Connecticut. Or Blue for that matter.

That left him.

In a way, Wash counts himself lucky. There isn’t really another freelancer who can come for him. He’s the only one left, and if anything Wash figures, he’s going the way of the Alpha.

But a little bit better, as he’s pretty sure he didn’t see a tank at Valhalla.


	7. Picky Eaters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 3 Sentence AU Fic challenge:
> 
> From crosseyedclown on tumblr: From crosseyedclown: Tex and the Maine in a universe where everyone’s an incredibly picky eater and they have to provide a single dinner for everyone, taking account for each particular on threat of death.
> 
> It’s a very specific and lesser known AU.

Tex is still unsure of what possessed her to take this job. Sure she needed the money, but it hardly seemed worth the pages and notepads she went through (at her last count, she was going through three a week), or the ire of the chef, who seemed to grumble with every new order she gave him (or maybe that was just his way of speaking, Tex didn’t know).

It was getting to the point where Tex was ready to strangle the next person who asked for a meal that specific, and she didn’t care if that possibly meant her life on the line.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from skiddy on tumblr.
> 
> Grif's first time seeing snow.

The first time Grif sees snow is in Sidewinder with Church.

He doesn’t really have time to process it before they’re captured and dragged off to a prison cell, but still, it sticks with him. He’d never really seen snow before, but he’d always heard about it. It amazed him.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?” Church snapped from the other side of the cell.

“That’s snow out there, right?”

“Of course it is. What’d you think it was? Cotton candy?”

“No. I’m not that dumb. I’ve just never seen snow before.”

“What do you mean? Are you from the desert or something?”

“Hawaii.”

“Same difference.”

***

They escaped, but in all the confusion that followed, Grif didn’t have the opportunity to explore the snow further. The only chance he had was when right before the bomb went off, and he grabbed an armful of the stuff. He couldn’t feel how cold it was because of his armour.

***

He almost panicked as it started melting when they got to the future. If that really was the case. He had to do something with it, and fast. An image came into his head and he acted on it.

Simmons, in the meantime, had sat down on a rock, trying to take everything in. He’d made the mistake of taking off his helmet. Something cold hit him squarely in the back of the head. Confused, he reached back and found snow that melted quickly in his hand.

He turned around, glaring at Grif who was grinning like a cat who’d just eaten a canary.”

“Simmons! Did you see that? I threw a snowball at you and it exploded. I’ve never done that before! It was so cool! Literally cool!”

“Asshole,” muttered Simmons, not wanting to completely ruin Grif’s moment.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> young!Director/Allison - still settling into their new place and there’s an ice storm (such as they would get in Austin - not a real blizzard but something that would knock the power out and force them to shiver under a blanket together) - From texelations on tumblr.
> 
>  
> 
> Writing them was harder than I thought, but I like how this turned out.

Their new house was small and getting on in years, but it worked for them. And Leonard figured that, with a few touch ups, maybe he could grow fond of the place.

Except for moments like now. When it felt like the whole house was going to be blown over.

He’d woken up when the windows had started rattling loudly. He’d propped himself up on his elbow to see the time, only to find the blank face of the clock staring back at him. He’d had no choice but lie there in the dark, debating on whether or not to wake Allison and wondering when the house was going to be ripped out of its foundations and they’d be on their way to Oz.

Of course it would be more likely that the roof would fall on him first.

He rolled over, pulling the blankets tighter over him, and trying to block out the storm. It was about a minute later that Allison pulled them roughly back over to her side.

“Quit hogging the blankets,” she muttered, sleepily, and yet the threat was present.

“Sorry,” he replied, “There’s a storm. The power went out.”

“That explains it,” she said, rolling over to face him. “Do you want to go get another blanket?”

“Not really,” Leonard replied, almost a little too quickly. But the idea of getting out of the bed and making his way down the dark, cold hallway to the linen closet was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Fine,” she sighed, moving closer, and he pulled her into an embrace. Just as they were drifting off, he heard her mumble, “The house is fine, Leonard. It’s not going to blow away.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> crosseyedclown challenged me to write a Kingdom Hearts/RvB AU. This is the result and it’s growing into something. It’s all their fault.

Roxas sat on the roof of Red base and glared across the canyon at the opposing one. When he’d joined the military, this wasn’t how he had imagined his life to go.

What he had imagined as an exciting campaign fraught with danger had become a life of doing nothing but standing around and talking.

It was enough to make anyone wonder why they were here.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I gained an obsession with Florida. I'm not sorry. There needs to be more fic of him.

There are nights in Blood Gulch where Flowers will stand on the roof of Blue base and look up at the stars, wondering what happened to everyone else. It’s part of his mission that he’s not allowed to have contact with anyone else from Freelancer, and he’s always been good at following orders.

But there are still times where he wonders, and hopes, that everyone else is still alive and well.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From monoclecircus: Sarge and Flowers meeting for the first time.

He’d meant for it to be a friendly visit. instead he found himself staring down the barrel of a shotgun.

“And if I ever find you sneaking around my base again, I’ll show ya just what it means to get Sarged, bluetard!”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From monoclecircus: The Freelancers have their own leaderboards.

It had become a competition among the Freelancers to see who could eat the most on taco night.

“It’s like she’s determined to be the best at everything” Wash sighed, scratching out Maine’s name at the top of his list and writing Carolina’s.

“Still, I can’t believe she’d go that far,” York replied, picking at his plate.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> from monoclecircus (cause she sent me a whole pile’o’prompts): The Counselor writes home.

The Counselor always writes two letters when he writes home. One is a typical report, with sparse details, that serves to let his family know that he is well. The other, with its stories about how the ship nearly crashed or how the common room was turned into a temporary kitchen because one of the freelancers wanted to cook a frozen pizza, the one he doesn’t send, would almost certainly make his family doubt that he worked for a professional military organization.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> from monoclecircus: Phantom of the Opera/Red vs Blue AU.

He’d wanted to say something, but Donut had been so happy that he didn’t want to burst his bubble. The door to the dressing room had long since closed, but still York stood there empty handed, trying to figure out what just happened.

Why hadn’t anyone told him that the Prima Donna and the Principle of the Ballet had switched dressing rooms?


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From monoclecircus: The Director’s first attempt to resurrect Allison.

Leonard Church is a scientist and he knows that you can’t bring people back from the dead.

That doesn’t stop him from contemplating the number of ways he could try though, and he lies awake at night creating scenario after scenario, no matter how outlandish they get.

It isn’t until he is told that Allison will live on in his memories that he realizes that the key was in front of him the entire time.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From monoclecircus: The Dakota twins sometimes switch places.

It was easier when they were younger.

Their parents would dress them alike, and they’d had similar hairstyles, so it was easy to switch places and fool as many people as they could, usually relatives at family reunions.

Now, more than one night had been spent trying to figure out how they could fool the other freelancers, but it’s hard to hide North’s height, and he objects to the loss of his knees, and it’s back to the drawing board for both of them.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From monoclecircus: Superhero AU

Wash stares at his partner in a mixture of amazement and disgust. He’d thought this caped crusader idea was dumb anyway, but this really took the cake.

“York, that is the ugliest costume ever, of all time.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From monoclecircus: Donut puts on another show

“For the last time Donut, we were all there, so we don’t need a show to explain what happened because everyone knows!” Grif sighed, exasperated.

“Doc wasn’t, and besides I’m feeling good about this one. I think it could lead to an Oscar!”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> from monoclecircus: Doc shares some wisdom about camels.

“Camels are really smart you know,” Doc says by way of conversation, as they wait for the Meta to return, “I read somewhere they’re like mathematicians.”

“Why would I care about camels?” Washington replies, his tone somewhere between terse and exasperated.

“Well, we’re in a desert, and there’s usually camels in a desert,” Doc mutters, realizing the conversation isn’t going any further.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> from crosseyedclown: Maine and Flowers on a mission together.

Maine doesn’t get how Wyoming stands it.

They’re sitting in the back of the pelican, en route to their mission and Florida will not shut up about…Maine doesn’t even know what he’s talking about as he stopped listening the moment Florida started talking.

He lets out a low growl, suggesting that Florida be quiet, but the man doesn’t get it and keeps talking and all Wyoming can offer is a less-than-apologetic shrug.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> from crosseyedclown: Wash’s shift to his colder personality.

When he wakes up after the crash of the Mother of Invention, North is there to tell him the details of what happened and that York has gone awol, along with Texas, Maine, Carolina, and Wyoming, though they all went different ways, and given the recent events Wash supposes he can understand why though he’s glad North, South, and Florida are still around.

When he wakes again, it is the Counselor informing him that North and South are on a mission, and that Florida has been transferred to a different base, and Wash understands but he feels abandoned and upset that he would be left behind.

The third time he wakes, he’s alone and all he has left are memories that are his and not his and he tries to sort them out but the silence is overwhelming and it’s all he can do to build walls between him and the rest of the world to keep himself from falling apart anymore.


	23. Chapter 23

The silence in the pelican is stifling as they head towards their mission, their first actual mission.

Wyoming attempts a joke.

Maine rolls his eyes, but when Florida gives a genuine laugh, Wyoming figures this might work out after all.


	24. Chapter 24

“FILSS, I’m telling you, it’s E.M.P. It’s an acronym for Electro Magnetic Pulse.”

“I am sorry Agent Washington, but according to my databanks, it is pronounced ehmp.”

“No. It’s not.”


	25. Chapter 25

“FILSS, I’m telling you, it’s E.M.P. It’s an acronym for Electro Magnetic Pulse.”

“I am sorry Agent Washington, but according to my databanks, it is pronounced ehmp.”

“No. It’s not.”


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt from listening-to-me-humming on tumblr: game night, freelancers.

The game had been going on for two days now, having passed from the evening to the morning.

They glared at each other around the table, occasionally glancing down at the board, where plastic army guys stood in stalemate because Wash refused to relinquish Australia, claiming it was key, and had been extremely lucky in his rolls.

A tense silence had settled around the cafeteria, as everyone waited for the outcome of this clash.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> from crosseyedclown, for the Tropes meme: Wash/CT, a day at the beach.

He’d thought it would be a good day to go to the beach.

The weatherman had reported that it was going to be sunny, but clearly the weatherman was a jerk because they couldn’t even see the ocean from where they sat in the parking lot because of the pouring rain and the fog.

“Sorry,” he muttered, and she replied by gently patting his shoulder.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> North and Wash go out for ice cream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is a drabble that I wrote for Kia’s Christmas card. I figured I would wait until it arrived before letting everyone else read it.
> 
> The drabble takes place in an RP we play in called Revenance, which is on Dreamwidth and based off of Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance. I play North there and she plays Wash.
> 
> Like most things I write, it’s silly.

“The ice cream is not going to bite you, Wash,” North sighed.

They were sitting at the ice cream shop in Traverse Town, enjoying some down time after the latest bout of Nightmare Hunting. North had suggested it, having rediscovered the joys of real ice cream.

“How do you know?” Wash asked, skeptically. “You can’t trust anything in this place.”

“And yet I’m pretty sure that if someone suffered more than a brain freeze, we’d hear about it. Now eat, it’s starting to melt.”

Wash gave North another look before eating a spoonful, and then several more. North grinned and began to eat his own before Wash dropped his spoon and gripped his head.

North laughed.

“That wasn’t your cue to give yourself one, Wash.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for Valentine's Day 2013

There is a bullet hole smoking about an inch away from the manager’s head.

Leonard finds himself being led out of the building and he swears he can hear Allison snickering over the gunfire.

While Allison had been enjoying herself, coming to the shooting range on a date had been a really terrible idea in retrospect.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt from endorphiumsuchtig on tumblr: What Simmons thinks of Grif's handwriting.

Simmons can’t decide if it’s chicken scratch, or just plain scribbling.

He stares at it for a good long while, trying to make out a word, but the best he can manage is Taco, and he’s not too sure what command would want with that.

He puts the note down, trying to remember the conversation and regretting that he ever let Grif answer the phone.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt from endorphiumsuchtig: North and South share a pet goldfish as children.

There was never much luck with fish at their house.

The Twins did their best to be responsible, feeding the fish every day and cleaning the tank but as each one kept dying South swore they were cursed.

It wasn’t until years later that North realized it might have been because they kept putting the tanks on surfaces that would heat up as the day went by.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt from endorphiumsuchtig on tumblr: The moment Wyoming decided he needed a mustache.

It had started as a challenge.

No-Shave November had quickly become Don’t Shave December, and when the beards were starting to reach levels of ridiculousness (and in some cases, out right disgust), Reggie knew when to throw in the towel.

When he gauged the positive reactions against the death glares from his friends, he knew that scaling back to a mustache had been the best decision.


	33. Chapter 33

Church has been waiting for this call.

He’s been waiting for it ever since he left Blood Gulch with Carolina.

When it comes he knows it’s his turn to charge in and be the hero, and who is he kidding Carolina’s going to get all the credit so the most he can hope to do is convince her to exchange the mongoose for a motorcycle and retain some sort of pride.


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt from endorphiumsuchtig: speaking of bicycles, who figured it out first, north or south?

It’s North who manages to ride a bike without training wheels first.

Looking back, South figures that was the first big competition between them, and the first time she lost.

It would make her angry, but then she remembers how hard she worked to catch up, and how shortly after she was the one winning the bike races in their neighborhood and secretly she was kind of glad for it.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> prompt from crosseyedclown: AI swap AU pairing Carolina with Theta.

She can feel Theta cowering in the back of her mind.

He’s been like this since she was implanted and not for the first time does she question why she was paired with this AI.

Carolina takes a deep breath, and once again tries to coax Theta out, doing her best not to get too impatient and hoping that the AI will respond this time.


	36. Chapter 36

When the beacon goes off, they head towards it almost immediately, warthog screaming out of the desert.

Behind his visor, Wash’s face is set in a tight line as he drives, determined to finally bring an end to all this, while beside him Doc sinks lower into his seat wishing he wasn’t there and wondering about stockholm syndrome.

In the recesses of Maine’s broken mind, the shadow of Sigma has figured out where they’re going and has to laugh at how they’ve come full circle.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically not Red vs Blue, but Halo in general.

He blinked when he saw the confetti, shaking his head as if in disbelief.

Thinking it was just a trick of the light, he lined up another grunt in his sights, and this time there was definitely confetti, and kids cheering.

“Does anyone else hear that?” he asked, but the rest of his squad ignored him, leaving him to wonder just what he had experienced.


	38. Chapter 38

York is the one who discovers Wash’s pictures of his cats.

The guy has been very secretive about his locker, and when there’s a secret about, York just has to know, you know, so he picks the lock.

In a way, the cat pictures are adorable, but at the same time emphasize Wash’s naivety that York just has to tease him about it later.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one came from a meme about AUing characters. A suggestion I was given was Roxas (from Kingdom Hearts) as a Freelancer AI.

Wash finds that after he receives his AI, he’s constantly craving ice cream. Not just any ice cream though, a very specific flavor and his AI seems put out if he has any other flavor.

One thing he doesn’t mind is sharing the ice cream though, as his AI seems quite at ease when he does, and he likes seeing the little guy smile.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was another AU that popped up in that same discussion. Cooking Manga!AU

They were surprised by how popular they’d gotten.

It seemed like just yesterday, they’d bought the food truck, and now Dakotas was the talk of the town.

One might say it was due to the charming and handsome cashier, at least until they took a bite of the burgers.


	41. Chapter 41

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This could be York and Wash. I'm not sure.

“If I was a superhero, I’d be Gadget guy! I’d have all these cool gadgets that I could use to fight crime and stuff and it would be so awesome!”

“So, Batman basically.”


	42. Chapter 42

"Simmons, no one cares about the origins of St. Patrick's Day, just give me the green beer!"

"No! Sarge is counting this under cultural diversity, so we have to do it for Red Command!"

"Sarge is already drinking!"


	43. Chapter 43

The common room was filled with an intense silence as the freelancers stared at the radio, which was announcing a grifball match.

Wash skulked by the door, craning to hear the broadcast but also not trying to make eye contact with anyone.

It was hard to be a fan of Vortex when everyone else cheered for Hyperspace.


	44. Chapter 44

CT finds that she doesn't mind sparring with Florida.

He's chatty, but at the same time, he knows what he's doing, and more than once he's done what he can to help her correct her stance or get more power into her attack.

She's pretty certain that he could be a higher rank, but whenever she asks him, he just laughs it off.


End file.
